i saw you and there was this weird deja vu i hadn’t felt for a very long time. suddenly i was back in a memory, where you were still here with me. i was twenty one again and slowly falling in love with you and we had all the time in the world. i didn’t think i’d ever see you again after that party in november but i’m glad i did. i didn’t know how it was possible to miss a person that much and when i saw you again, in your arms i was at ease. i just wanted to hold you and never let you go. letting you go the first time was agonising enough. 

but i guess heartbreak can strike twice, that was the night you told me you were leaving, moving further away from me. this would be the last time i saw you. there were never enough words to describe the feelings i had for you. i was just so happy to see you even though you we breaking my heart again.

that night it felt i was living in a memory, a happy one. as we parted off into the night, the final goodbyes looming, i should have said ‘it always good to see you. you don’t realise how much i’ve missed you’. but there was only silence until you said ‘one day i’m going to ring you and find out all the incredible things you’ve done’. i love you was on the tip of my tongue in that empty car park under the stars. we were never going to be here again.  

i should have told you so many things that night but what good would have come from telling you how much i loved you. i watched you for a second time walk out my life not knowing if i’d ever see you again and that was a tragedy.

– you were a dream i wanted to come true for a very long time. you were a dream that i loved, one that still gives me deja vu.