my heart hasn’t changed. that’s terrifying after all this time. and it would be okay if you weren’t in love with someone else. i’ve held onto us for far too long darling. i can’t do this, my heart can’t take it. i want to let go. it’s nearly been ten years since you walked into my life, i wish i knew at eighteen what i know now. i would have done so many things differently. i would have asked you out, hell i would have told you i loved you for a very long time, longer than i realised. there were so many things i should have told you. i’d do it all again, just for a second. i’ve been missing you ever since you left and walked right out of my life. i guess i’m homesick for something that never was. i wish i wasn’t scared to ruin our friendship but you meant everything to me then, you were the constant in my life and i didn’t want to loose that. i never knew how you felt and god sometimes i wish i did. but i don’t know if that would bring me peace after all this time or just break my heart. i just want you to believe me, there were so many times i wanted to tell you. i was in a constant sate of distress between my head and my heart. but i never realised in not telling you, i was breaking my own heart and those three words could have saved me.

– i’ll never know what we could have been.