you looked beautiful, all in white. i’ve been seeing pockets of your life for years now. darling time has caught up to me, and i didn’t realise how much we faded from each others memory. i never wanted to become a stranger to you, with messages left on read, no reply. i wish i could say time has healed but it hasn’t especially the place in my heart left by you. i’m haunted by dreams of what could have been, if only i made a different choice that night. maybe i’d be with you. i was so scared of admitting my feelings and losing you but now i’m left with only your ghost haunting these memories. darling there was a time in my life where everything revolved around you, nothing else mattered. i will never know if my love was requited. sleep never comes easy, often i dream of you, sometimes it’s in the form of old memories, happy ones. time and time again some dreams give me second chance to make a different choice. and with that choice i always choose you. i was foolish years ago not kissing you that night because that’s all i wanted to do. i lost you when the years came and went with no reply, i never not thought we’d be in each others lives. i thought we’d always be ‘us’. time changed and we grew apart. and i should have taken those chances because at least then i would have known what it was like to kiss you, to have risked having my heart broken because the latter of not taking those chances has left regret. darling i must confess i’ve loved you for nearly ten years and i never told you how i felt. it was always here in my words yet they could never leave my lips. loving you were some of the best years of my life. i didn’t see you walking down the aisle, i wasn’t there waiting for you like my dream. i’m sorry i never told you how i felt. and now i never will because your happy and that’s all i ever wanted. so i’ll settle for the photographs laying here with all the letters never to be sent. 

–i dreamed that i’d be waiting for you, watching you walk down the aisle. but that’s just a dream. one now i know will never come true.