times moved on, and i’m here forgetting. memories blur, i can’t remember the sound of your laugh, the way you said my name, and the way my heart felt when i was with you. darling i’ve been left with only sadness for a long time, longer than i’d care to admit. i never knew how overwhelming it could be, how it comes in waves. how heartbreaking it is to live with it. i will have loved you for ten years. nearly a third of my life. and in that time i’ve been half in love, half heartbreak. i never knew how much joy you’d bring, you would always light up the room, everyone loved you and i would always want to be the one to make you laugh. and i never realised when you’d leave how much sadness it would bring. i never knew it would linger, that it would become a part of me. i know i never told you a lot of things, all the things i should have told you. i should have told you – you were my first love, the one that felt real. i never imagined that you’d become a stranger, someone i’d no longer know. i miss you, yet now i don’t know now if i could ever just be your friend. maybe this distance between us was a blessing, but darling it feels like a curse. maybe we weren’t meant to withstand the test of time. maybe we weren’t meant to be together, but god i regret a lot of things when it comes to you and i’d go back in a heartbeat, for just more time with you. 

–heartbreak season