i would call but times made a fool out of me. months have passed since we last spoke. darling and this is what’s become of us. you’re a stranger. someone i no longer know. the sad thing is that i don’t think i ever truly did. somehow you meant so much to me in so little time but now these months have passed and you’re gone, like you were never really here. but if i’m being completely honest i miss you. and i know what your going to say, i know it sounds stupid, trust me i know. i know i’m a hopeless romantic, i feel things too deeply, and i love too much and have a breakable heart. there have been so many times i’ve wanted to reach out, my fingers have hovered over your name too many times. i don’t think i should, i think this time i’ll keep it to myself. and darling there are somethings i don’t want to know, for the sake of my own heart. i think i need to let it be. but why couldn’t it be simple. can’t i just miss you, does it have to be in a certain way. i just miss you being in my life, i wanted you to stay. i didn’t want it to end this way. there’s this grief, this heartbreak that comes with the passage of time, when these unsaid feelings are left never to reach you. darling i was careless with our time, my words and my heart. there’s been this ache in my chest ever since you left and i can’t quite explain why i so greatly feel the loss of you when you never really mine to lose. i feel like i’m being haunted by the what ifs, the what could have beens, a foolish dream. what am i meant to do with these memories, they still haunt my heart. i remember that night, the one we sat for hours talking. i smiled like an idiot all the way home. midnight was fast approaching but sleep wouldn’t come. you left me with my heart racing. it was that night that made me realise my feelings for you. i would have waited hours just to see you smile at me the way you did that night. i think we both know that these were never just words, never just feelings. it couldn’t be simple. it would always mean something. these words will always mean something. you’ll always mean something to me.

-eternally yours, in the understanding that you will never be mine.//t.c