Posted on by tashjcurry

i was just a soldier who gave their heart to a goddess

you loved girl 

who was filled with a fiery rage,

with this anger,

with war. 

with time

tragedy became her

but she was so much more

than that.

she held oceans in her eyes,

had galaxies in her heart,

there was stars in her blood.

she was a goddess,

and how could i love her?

with bloody knuckles,

broken bones,

fighting a losing war. 

i was no god, 

just a solider.

a weapon. 

how could she love me?

after what i’d done,

all i endured. 

i was damned,

left for ruin. 

war was not kind on the living.

it never was, 

yet she loved me all the same.

for i believe  

she took my heart

and i’d be damned to love her 

with every part of my soul. 

for i would always welcome ruin

if it meant i could keep 

loving her.

– i was just a soldier who gave their heart to a goddess.

Posted on by tashjcurry

i loved you within these memories

I know I’m lost, but I’m somewhere within these memories. Yet I know I should leave, that I can’t stay. But there is peace in knowing somewhere within these memories I’m still with you. 

I’m trying to remember the good, that maybe if we got a second chance things would be different. That we could have been different, if only to forget. I just don’t want to forget what we had, and all these memories. I know with time, we’ll fade, that it’ll be gone. I just want to enjoy those memories of you. Those were the times where I was happy. 

The world will forget by the ones who forgot we were there in the sunshine of their spotless minds, each one accepting they will never remember those memories like they were when it happened, but for a second they’ll be happy never knowing what they lost. 

I wish to remember, I really do. But I know I’ll have to leave those memories soon, even if it breaks my heart to leave. I just want you to know that I wish I could’ve stayed.

– i loved you within these memories.

Posted on by tashjcurry

i miss you in december, sometimes i wish i didn’t.

I hope you know all these poems are for you, my love. I miss you but mostly in December, on a cold winters night. My one wish, most years is that you were here with me, in my arms listing to the crackle of the fire, trying to keep the chill from our bones, looking out to the stars wishing for the snow. 

– i miss you in december, sometimes i wish i didn’t. 

Posted on by tashjcurry · 1 Comment

halfway gone.

i can’t keep hoping for someday, because those dreams are broken just like our promises. we exist like this, basking in this grief, all this misery left with the silence we leave behind when we walk away. we become tragedies in other peoples stories. we let our dreams fade, become dormant and give ourselves too willingly to other people who will just break our hearts in the end. 

you’ll break my heart in the end. maybe these words won’t reach you, maybe they’ll mean nothing, fall on deaf ears. maybe i was not meant to love you like this. 

– halfway gone.

Posted on by tashjcurry

i can’t remember that feeling, but i still remember loving you.

maybe i still hold onto us too tightly, even after all these years because i need to remember how it felt to fall in love. i need to remember how it felt to be loved, to have my heart broken because now it’s all fading and it’s been too long to grasp at those memories of you. 

i can’t keep feeling like this, i’m scared that one day i’ll feel nothing, that without love what am i? without love who will i become? who have i become without your love?

i don’t want to be without love because what a waste it would be. i know i’m not the same, that the person you loved is gone. i just want to fall in love with someone who isn’t you.

i want to feel something. 

just to feel again.

– i can’t remember that feeling, but i still remember loving you.

Posted on by tashjcurry

you became a chapter in my life, one I’d always go back to when i got the chance.

stories end, 

the lovers lose each other. 

battles are lost, 

the hero dies. 

the tragedy always lingers,

never fading.

all these stories,

all this sorrow

i never wanted this ending.

i never wanted you to stop loving me,

like you did.

but sometimes stories are just stories,

they don’t have to have meaning.

you can choose your own path,

write your own story,

because darling i would never have written our story this way,

with the ending it did. 

– you became a chapter in my life, one I’d always go back to when i got the chance.

Posted on by tashjcurry

she always said love was a kind of killing.

maybe we were always meant to break each others hearts, maybe that’s the way our story would always go. but that doesn’t mean that our love wasn’t true, that we didn’t love each other with everything we had. maybe we never stood a chance to be more than that in this life, but maybe somewhere else we could be. maybe we could have been better for each other if only we let down our walls. if only we stopped to love each other rather than trying to find love in other people. my love we could have been so much more that what we were. and i came so close to seeing your heart before you broke mine. but the story was always going to be the same, we would always destroy each other in the name of love. 

–she always said love was a kind of killing.

Posted on by tashjcurry

thank you for loving me.

my darling i never 

deserved your love.

i was so lucky

because you loved me 

anyway.

maybe somewhere 

i’m enough for 

you,

maybe somewhere 

i’m deserving

of your love.

maybe one day i’ll be 

that person

worthy of your love.

i hope maybe someday 

i’m better for you, my love.

– thank you for loving me.