Posted on by tashjcurry

the years hadn’t changed my feelings, but loving you hurt.

we sat in a quiet coffee shop, with so much history between us. the years had not been kind on my heart darling, it was too late to tell you how much i cared, how much i loved you, that i’d loved you for years. so i did the only thing i could do, i sat and listened to your life, the one i wasn’t apart of anymore and all i wanted to do was tell you how much i missed you. that the years hadn’t changed my feelings, and god i wish they did. i wanted to tell you, you were the love of my life but you’d had found the love of yours and you were finally happy, you talked about her, your home and wanting to start a family. my broken heart was screaming just tell her because maybe she loved you too and i don’t doubt she did, but it was a familiar type of love, it was not the same. so i just listened to your stories, hoping it would never end because i hated watching you leave over and over again, never knowing if you’d come back. as we left the empty coffee shops, mugs on the table, all i could hear in the silence was the sound of my heart. i hugged you hoping i could pour everything into this one moment. so i could let it be because i didn’t know if those moments would be all we had. i never knew if it would be the last time i saw you. maybe this was all i was going to get from loving you, being left heartbroken. 

–the years hadn’t changed my feelings, but loving you hurt. 

Posted on by tashjcurry

i can’t remember that feeling, but i still remember loving you.

maybe i still hold onto us too tightly, even after all these years because i need to remember how it felt to fall in love. i need to remember how it felt to be loved, to have my heart broken because now it’s all fading and it’s been too long to grasp at those memories of you. 

i can’t keep feeling like this, i’m scared that one day i’ll feel nothing, that without love what am i? without love who will i become? who have i become without your love?

i don’t want to be without love because what a waste it would be. i know i’m not the same, that the person you loved is gone. i just want to fall in love with someone who isn’t you.

i want to feel something. 

just to feel again.

– i can’t remember that feeling, but i still remember loving you.

Posted on by tashjcurry

you became a chapter in my life, one I’d always go back to when i got the chance.

stories end, 

the lovers lose each other. 

battles are lost, 

the hero dies. 

the tragedy always lingers,

never fading.

all these stories,

all this sorrow

i never wanted this ending.

i never wanted you to stop loving me,

like you did.

but sometimes stories are just stories,

they don’t have to have meaning.

you can choose your own path,

write your own story,

because darling i would never have written our story this way,

with the ending it did. 

– you became a chapter in my life, one I’d always go back to when i got the chance.

Posted on by tashjcurry · 1 Comment

You wrote about her like she was the only love you’d ever know.

I never quite understood how a love like that could fall apart. How love couldn’t fix everything, that sometimes it’s not enough. That it wasn’t enough for me. That it couldn’t have been enough for you.

What if you were the one, what if I had just lost the love of my life? What if that one thought would torture me, leaving me with sleepless nights. Would we become one of those forgotten tragedies? Would we ever get our needed epilogue. Would I ever get my closure to end this heavy feeling in my heart. 

I wish sometimes I got a second chance with you, I’d have done things so differently. I wouldn’t have ran when things got serious. But then I might have never gone down this path, I might never have found myself and be who I needed. I might have still be pretending to be someone else, that’s a terrifying thought. Maybe I needed to lose you, but that doesn’t mean I liked dealing with that, the pain it brought.

Sometimes if I let my mind wander, there’s a different life out there for me. One’s where we were enough for each other. Sometimes that’s enough but still those thoughts can break your heart. I think I’ll be constantly living with a broken heart. I’ll always remember the time we had, and my love for you. But now things fade, everything getting distorted. Time was never kind, but then again neither was I. 

I couldn’t let go, I never could. You’d always be somewhere if not in my heart, in my words, never truly leaving me. And I hate that, because you’ll forget, move on and all that I’ll be left with is these words, that’s no comfort. It’ll never be enough for me, the memory of you.

– you wrote about her like she was the only love you’d ever know.

Posted on by tashjcurry

history wont remember a love story between a boy and a half god, I’m sorry my dears you were always considered a tragedy.

one day i’ll sit down and write our story, but this time it wont end in tragedy. it will be a world in which we never had to face war, we got to be kids and grow into our youth. in this story, you my love were not a weapon created by war, made to give your life, and i wouldn’t have to follow you into the battlefield, i wouldn’t have to watch you become bloody and broken. i would have to lose you to a war that we could never have won because that was never our fate, we were always meant to lose. that became our history.

one day our story will be known as something more than a tragedy, i promise. 

–history wont remember a love story between a boy and a half god, I’m sorry my dears you were always considered a tragedy.

Posted on by tashjcurry

she always said love was a kind of killing.

maybe we were always meant to break each others hearts, maybe that’s the way our story would always go. but that doesn’t mean that our love wasn’t true, that we didn’t love each other with everything we had. maybe we never stood a chance to be more than that in this life, but maybe somewhere else we could be. maybe we could have been better for each other if only we let down our walls. if only we stopped to love each other rather than trying to find love in other people. my love we could have been so much more that what we were. and i came so close to seeing your heart before you broke mine. but the story was always going to be the same, we would always destroy each other in the name of love. 

–she always said love was a kind of killing.

Posted on by tashjcurry

it was the test of time and the price was our love.

there will be a time where this all fades,

and we’ll become stories

and all that’s left will be our love.

maybe somewhere,

somehow 

history may be kind to us

and remember what we were,

rather than who we became, 

but if your hearing this 

then please

let us be more than

the tragic tale 

of what happed to our love.

but if history is not kind

to us,

if she makes her choice,

i pray that our love lasts 

in the stories she will tell

i hope we last…

withstanding the test of time

because darling 

we were meant to.

i hope history will remember,

the good,

and the way we fell in love

but if not

maybe

in another lifetime, 

a kinder one

we’ll be remembered 

together rather than 

being torn apart.

i don’t want our story

to be remembered 

as one where fate 

did not go our way 

and we lost each other.

because all i wanted 

in this life 

was to be remembered 

with you.

–it was the test of time and the price was our love.